Script- Adult/Youth - First Place

CHARACTERS:
DOTTIE: Woman in her twenties. JOSH: Man in his twenties.
ARABELLA: Woman in her seventies.
STAN: Man in his seventies.
COSTUMES:
Woman's nightgown
Woman's robe
Women's slippers x 2
Woman's night mumu
Boatshoes
Boxers
Terrycloth bathrobe
Men's slippers
SET:
Two front lawns and a sidewalk. PROPS:
Door x 2
Bench
Watering Can
Streetlamp
Stage blood capsule
Phone
Wallet
Rose

SCENE
The stage is set up with a prop DOOR UPPER STAGE LEFT. All is dark with BLUE GELS over the lights to give the effect of midnight. There is a SPOTLIGHT over the DOOR. Across the CENTRE STAGE RIGHT and LEFT is a SIDEWALK. Across the LOWER STAGE, a CURB. BENCH, CENTRE STAGE. STREETLAMP, LOWER STAGE RIGHT. Unseen DOOR, UPPER STAGE RIGHT.

SCENE begins with DOTTIE in a NIGHTGOWN as she THROWS JOSH out the DOOR in his BOXERS to CENTRE STAGE LEFT. DOTTIE THROWS JOSH'S BOATSHOES at him on the SIDEWALK.

DOTTIE: And fuck your boatshoes too!

JOSH WINCES, RUBS HIS HEAD, ADJUSTS HIS MAN-BUN. JOSH PUTS ON HIS BOATSHOES AND FACES THE AUDIENCE IN HIS BOXERS.

JOSH: I thought I changed "Jasmine" to "Uncle Jacob" in my phone. My bad. But that's what Dottie gets for snooping.

JOSH WALKS TO BENCH.

JOSH: We weren't official or anything. It's only been, like, four months. Now she's clingy. You know how it goes... Girl likes boy...

BEAT.

JOSH SITS ON BENCH.

JOSH: It's not my fault she read too far into things. Just because I don't want something official yet doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman in the meantime. Can I help if the girl falls in love?

JOSH RETIES the short leather strings on his BOATSHOES.

JOSH: Besides we're so young. How do I know she isn't going to, you know, like... babytrap me. I saw something about that on the internet.

JOSH SHIVERS.

JOSH: Dottie's a sweet girl, though. I wonder if she and Jasmine would be down to...

SPOTLIGHT TURNS OFF JOSH, ONTO DOOR UPPER STAGE LEFT. DOTTIE SITS ON HER DOORSTEP IN A FUZZY BATHROBE WITH HER HEAD BETWEEN HER KNEES. SHE LOOKS UP AND ADDRESSES THE AUDIENCE.

DOTTIE: I knew he was a fuckboy. But that first date, he was so sweet. And the flowers – I've never been bought flowers. He even told me all that stuff about his dad! Does he tell every girl that? Oh, God, and I told him all that stuff about my dad. Jasmine... ugh. I bet she's beautiful. I wonder how many others there are. What does he do with all the stories he hears on dates? Just... throw them away? Did any of it mean anything?

DOTTIE PUTS HER HEAD DOWN. SPOTLIGHT ON JOSH.

JOSH: Dammit, she still has my phone. I wonder how much a new one would cost. Plus, I'm pretty sure I left my location on... and I'm pretty sure that's why Jasmine's calling. Territorial little kitty...

JOSH STANDS.

JOSH: At least if I have a new number, I can tell Jasmine some rando stole my phone.

JOSH BEGINS WALKING STAGE RIGHT THEN STOPS.

JOSH: Except, Dottie has my wallet in there too.

JOSH SITS DOWN ON THE CURB LOWER STAGE RIGHT NEXT TO THE STREETLAMP AND PUTS HIS HEAD BETWEEN HIS KNEES.
SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON DOOR UPPER STAGE RIGHT.
ARABELLA WATERS HER FLOWERS OUTSIDE THE DOOR UPPER STAGE RIGHT IN HER NIGHT MUMU. STAN OPENS THE DOOR IN HIS TERRYCLOTH BATHROBE.

STAN: Oh, Bella Arabella... it's midnight, my love. It's time for the moon to replenish the flowers. Come on in, come on in.

ARABELLA LOOKS CONFUSED, THEN COMES TO AND PUTS HER HAND OVER HER FACE.

STAN GENTLY STEERS ARABELLA INSIDE DOOR UPPER STAGE RIGHT. SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON DOTTIE.

DOTTIE IS LEANING AGAINST HER DOOR, READING THROUGH JOSH'S PHONE.

DOTTIE: He's this sleazy and doesn't password protect his phone? Wow, this guy sure has a lot of Uncle Jacobs. And all of them have great tits. Wait, what's my name on this thing... Uncle Dan?! I'm not even a Jacob?

SPOTLIGHT STAYS ON DOTTIE AND TURNS ON JOSH. JOSH STANDS UNDER THE STREETLAMP, STRESSED.

JOSH: Who am I kidding, I can't afford a new phone. But if Jasmine thinks I was mugged, I bet she would pay for it...

JOSH TRIPS WHILE PACING AND BANGS HIS HEAD INTO THE STREETLAMP. JOSH POPS A BLOOD CAPSULE ON HIS FOREHEAD AT THE SAME TIME.

JOSH, YELLING: Cock-sucker!

DOOR UPPER STAGE RIGHT SWINGS OPEN. SPOTLIGHT TURNS OFF DOTTIE AND TURNS ON STAN, ALSO STAYING ON JOSH.

STAN: Excuse me, young man, but this is a residential neighbourhood. Now, my wife gets confused very easily. She just got back to sleep. When she doesn't get her sleep at night, she becomes more confused during the day. So young man, could you please shut the hell up?

JOSH: Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to disturb you and your wife. It's just this bitch next door has my phone and wallet. She practically stole it off me.

STAN LOOKS JOSH UP AND DOWN.

STAN: Dorothy Rosewaters? Steal your phone and wallet? I've known that girl since she was in diapers. In middle school when all her friends went to the movies, she stayed and helped my Arabella with her gardens. Worked until her nails would bleed, that girl. Hurt to see. But with that father of hers, better for her to be at our place, anyhow. No, young pup. I don't believe Dorothy Rosewaters is a bitch. But you...

STAN POINTS AT JOSH AND WALKS AWAY.
JOSH: Listen, old man!

SPOTLIGHT WIDENS. DOTTIE RUNS INTO SPOTLIGHT, SHOVES JOSH'S PHONE AND WALLET AT HIM.

DOTTIE: Ohmigod, just leave you loser. You've already embarrassed yourself enough.

JOSH: Me, embarrassed?

DOTTIE POINTS AT THE AUDIENCE.

DOTTIE: My neighbours across the way? They have a great Ring camera. I saw those videos go viral now online.

SPOTLIGHT TURNS OFF DOTTIE AND JOSH. SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON ARABELLA SITTING ON THE BENCH, STARING UP AT THE MOON. STAN COMES OUT, SITS BESIDE HER.

ARABELLA: The moon is so full tonight. Are the flowers ok?

STAN: We'll see. The moon does her best.

ARABELLA: Sunshine is better for clearing.

STAN: The best disinfectant, they say. No need to snoop for weeds when you can see 'em all.

ARABELLA: Sometimes they aren't weeds.

STAN: Sometimes they are.

ARABELLA: Nature takes time... it's late, isn't it?

STAN: It is.

ARABELLA: Will you take me home?

STAN: Always.

LIGHTS FADE TO BLACK.

BEAT.

JOSH, YELLING IN THE DARK: You could at least leave the porchlight on while I wait for my Uber.

DOTTIE: Uber? Good luck with that.

SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON JOSH AGGRESSIVELY THUMBING AT HIS PHONE.

JOSH: What's wrong with this neighbourhood? No Uber, snoopy neighbours, evil streetlamp...

DOTTIE: What did you say about the streetlamp?

JOSH, RUBBING HIS FOREHEAD WHERE THE BLOOD IS: What about a taxi cab? Do those still exist?

DOTTIE: Three hours ago they did. There's a shuttle bus that goes back and forth between that gas station over there and the airport, though.

JOSH: Is there literally anything else? A large family dog I can ride? A bike I could steal?

DOTTIE: I told you at dinner, my dad sold my bike when I was eight.

JOSH: That was fifteen years ago – you never replaced it?

DOTTIE: I'm about to turn the light off again.

JOSH: Just come out. Your window's too high. Your neighbours will wake up again.

DOTTIE: Trust me, they're awake. Arabella's already offered to water my hedges like, three times.

DOTTIE OPENS THE DOOR.

JOSH: You never answered about the dog.

DOTTIE: I told you, my dad sold that too!

DOTTIE GOES BACK INSIDE, SLAMS THE DOOR AND TURNS OFF THE LIGHT AGAIN.

SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON ARABELLA GARDENING THE FRONT LAWN AND STAN COMING OUT.

STAN: Dammit, Arabella, I love you but I need sleep, too. Darling, sweetheart, beautiful...

STAN TAKES THE WATERING CAN AWAY AND POINTS AT THE MOON. THEY BOTH LOOK UP.

STAN: The moon. Please, for the love of Saint Jude, come back to bed. Stay with me, Bella Arabella.

STAN AND ARABELLA REMAIN IN TABLEAU. SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON JOSH WITH HIS FOREHEAD ON DOTTIE'S DOOR, BANGING IT. DOTTIE OPENS THE DOOR AND JOSH STUMBLES.

DOTTIE: I could call the police.

JOSH: And ask them to escort me home?

JOSH ENTERS TABLEAU. ARABELLA EXITS TABLEAU. ARABELLA AND DOTTIE WALK LOWER CENTRE STAGE. DOTTIE GETS ON HER KNEES, FACING THE AUDIENCE TO MIMIC BEING SMALL. ARABELLA PASSES HER THE WATERING CAN AND STROKES HER HAIR.

ARABELLA: You seem lost in thought, little one.

YOUNG DOTTIE: Why do all the boys at school ignore me, Bellie?

ARABELLA: They don't know what they're looking at.

YOUNG DOTTIE: And daddy?

ARABELLA: Well, he doesn't either.

ARABELLA POINTS TO A FLOWER.

ARABELLA: What's that?

YOUNG DOTTIE: A violet.

ARABELLA: And that?

YOUNG DOTTIE: A weed.

ARABELLA: Some can't tell the difference. They gather the weeds and ignore the flowers. Sometimes it can be harder to tell what's all what the older you get; sometimes the weeds grow little purple flowers. Sometimes the violets don't blossom until night. Easy to get confused, but...well, you learn how to snoop it all out in the end.

DOTTIE AND ARABELLA GO BACK TO THEIR DOORSTEP TABLEAUX FOR A BEAT. DOTTIE RESUMES HER SCENE WITH JOSH.

DOTTIE: Why don't you just ask one of your uncles to pick you up?

JOSH: Maybe, I've never actually met any of my uncles, ok. What then, Dorothy?

DOTTIE: What does that mean?

JOSH: What if... I get paid to text my uncles sometimes.

DOTTIE: Like... a subscription?

JOSH: Maybe.

DOTTIE: So you haven't slept with any of them?

JOSH: Maybe.

DOTTIE SITS DOWN BESIDE JOSH.

DOTTIE: Uncle Jacob...

JOSH: Is actually about the same age as my real Uncle Jacob.

DOTTIE: But you've never met up?

JOSH: They just want pictures of me at the gym. I keep getting kicked out of gyms...

DOTTIE: How long has it been since you actually dated before me?

JOSH: My last relationship, two years ago. We were together since high school. We broke up when my dad died.

BEAT.

DOTTIE: Oh wow. You really are a loser.

JOSH: Shut up. Can I be a loser that sleeps on your couch? Or at least gets his clothes back before catching the bus?

DOTTIE: Fine. Just... stay with me, loser.

JOSH: In you're...

DOTTIE: On the couch.

SPOTLIGHT FADES ON DOTTIE AND JOSH. TURNS UP ON ARABELLA LEANING ON THE DOORFRAME, STARING AT THE MOON. STAN COMES OUT.

ARABELLA: We forget the sky snoops on us too...oh, the moon is doing a fine job, I think. At growing the flowers. Sometimes she needs help, though – an extra set of eyes here, a pair of hands in the garden, there. A reminder that her creatures are cared for by us other creatures. A little passion; frustration... love, or the inkling of it. Movement. Remember when we moved with the moon, Stan?

STAN: My Bella, I do.

ARABELLA: The sun is peeking out.

STAN: Let's soak up the last of this moon inside, then. The sun will take care of the rest out here.

STAN PULLS ARABELLA IN FOR A KISS AND THEY DISAPPEAR THROUGH THEIR DOOR.

CURTAIN CALL

DOTTIE AND JOSH COME OUT OF DOTTIE'S DOOR. JOSH OFFERS DOTTIE A ROSE AND SHE ACCEPTS BEFORE BOWING.

ARABELLA AND STAN COME OUT OF THEIR RESPECTIVE DOOR. ARABELLA HOLDS A WATERING CAN AS THEY BOW.

ALL FOUR JOIN IN FRONT OF BENCH AND BOW.