Script - Best Overall

The South Simcoe Arts Council has been shining a spotlight on up and coming writers of all ages, in all genres through its Creative Works Writing Contest since 2016.

We are excited to share the winners writings with you. Enjoy!

This award is sponsored by
Drury Funeral Home.

Grampa Agnew Squires
(c) Frank Westcott, 2023. All rights reserved

CAST OF CHARACTERS

GRANDSON: Laird. Married about a year.

GRANDPA AGNEW SQUIRES: Laird's grandfather. Set in his ways. Philosopher of sorts.

GERTIE, COLLIE DOG: Invisible. Presence indicated by gestures from the other characters.

THE SCENE:Outside at Grandpa Agnew's rural property.
THE YEAR: 2023

AS THE PLAY BEGINS
THE SETTING:
We are outside at GRANDPA AGNEW SQUIRES' rural property.
The set is to suit the play as it is envisioned by the DIRECTOR.
The progression from the opening moment, to character entry, to motion,to voice, and to character placement can be
at the DIRECTOR'S discretion to best suit the venue, the performance and her/his creativity and muse.

AS THE PLAY BEGINS:

We see the front porch and garden at GRANDPA AGNEW
SQUIRES' farm. Well, what is left of it. He only has ten acres now. Most of the surrounding land is taken up by housing developments. It is late May or early June, just as GRAMPA AGNEW'S garden is
beginning to grow. GRANDPA AGNEW is on the porch, rocking in his rocking chair.
GERTIE, albeit invisible, is between the rear rocker prongs
of GRAMPA AGNEW's rocking chair. GRANDSON,
Laird, enters the scene, looks around, then speaks to the audience.

GRANDSON
(to audience)

It was a Saturday and I thought it would be a good day to go out to the farm and visit Grandpa Squires. Hadn't seen him in awhile, hadn't been to the farm in awhile, and for awhile, I thought it'd be a good idea to go and see Grandpa Squires. The farm wasn't really a farm anymore. Most of it sold off to housing. Development they called it. Then. And now. Too. Still. Grandpa had kept onto ten acres for his house and garden, and to keep a few chickens, and old Gertie his sheep dog. A tri-colour. Black and white. And tan. Sort of like I felt. My hair black, my heart a little heavy and white hot, the memories, and wishing I could get a tan too, and to boot.

(grimaces and runs fingers through his hair)

They, Gertie and Gramps, were sitting in the shade on the front porch. Grandpa sipping on lemonade and Gertie laying with her head between the back two prongs of Grandpa's rocker, out of the way of Grandpa's feet and the rocking, in the shade, and getting a breeze, a little one, from the rocker, rocking away.

(to GRANDPA AGNEW who periodically reaches behind to pat GERTIE)
Hiya Gramps. How's it going?

GRANDPA AGNEW
Oh, tolerable son. Tolerable.

GRANDSON
Look okay to me, sitting there in the shade. How's Gertie?

GRANDPA AGNEW
Oh, she's tolerable, son. She's tolerable, too. Jus' tolerable.

GRANDSON
I see, Grandpa Agnew. Whoops, I forgot. Sorry, Grandpa A.

(to audience)

Grandpa didn't like being called Grandpa Agnew, anymore. Not after Spiro and Watergate, and all that U.S. government stuff, back in the day, eons before now and Trump's time, even though that, the Watergate thing, was over half a century ago, it still lingers for Grandpa A. And too, I think Grandpa, Grandpa A, liked having a continual cause to bear. However old it was, or maybe it was that everything old becomes new again thing. Somehow, in that way. For him. As he saw things. Different, I suppose. You know, in the old days. It was now time now though. Now days, now. And Grandpa didn't fit with the times. Grandpa didn't fit with much else either. These times or any times, me thinks-thunk-and-thought before my visit. Anyway, no matter what the time, Grandpa A. liked having something to say

(shrugs)

not to do anymore, or it wasn't right anymore. Maybe it was his age. Yet maybe... well... Or I kinda think it was the way he always was.

(grins)

Far as I could tell (grins again) , he was always older'n me, so age can't be part of it, really, if that's the way he always was. Gramps are like that, so I heard. And hear now ringing in my head, as I think of this.

(looks around place)

GRANDPA AGNEW
What you mumblin' aboot', Laird? What you tryin' ta say?

GRANDSON
Oh, just that the place looks good. Looks real good. Flowers out. See that the garden's growing, too.

GRANDPA AGNEW
It's gotta grow, boy. Ya don't plant nothin' fer it not ta grow. Bin readin' 'bout that strike. Why don't they jus' shut everything down? That's what they should do. Shut the whole friggin' country down.

GRANDSON
Yeah, it's getting bad, eh? Posties out. Railroads and teamsters out. Wonder what'll be next?

GRANDPA AGNEW
The guvment boy, the guvment. They gonna shut the guvment down too. You wait and see.

GRANDSON
Ah, come on, Gramps. The government won't shut down. They're not in those unions. What would they want to shut down for? We could stop licking our stick-on-self-stick stamps to protest.

GRAMPA AGNEW
Peel 'n stick. Stamps are peel 'n stick now.

GRANDSON
(looks at audience)
I feel my age is showing.
(turns back to GRAMPA AGNEW)
Don't be crazy, Gramps. Drink your lemonade.
(to the audience)
I watch Grandpa A. reach behind the rocker and rub Gertie's ears. I see him sip at his lemonade.

GRANDPA AGNEW
What you think, Gert? Guvment goin' ta shut down? Laird says not. Laird ought-ta know. Educated the way he is. What's that Gert?

GRANDSON
(to audience)
I watch Gertie stretch under the rocker. Her front feet point out straight and her head curls back. She yawns. Bored with our conversation, I guess.

GRANDPA AGNEW
Come on, boy. I'll show you the garden. You too Gertie.
(stands up and slaps thigh for the dog to come)
She's comin' good.
(GRANDSON looks at dog)
Not the dog. The garden. That she. Garden's comin' good. Garden's comin' good.

GRANDSON
Who cultivated it this year?

GRANDPA AGNEW
Smith boy. Good farm boy. Good worker, too. Did good job wouldn't ya say. Still fine. The soil. Feel that soil, boy. Give it a good feel.

GRANDSON
Yes, it feels fine, Gramps. Real fine.
(to audience)
I crush an earth-chunk with my fingers curling into my palm. It falls away, the soil not my palm, and the fine earth sifts through my fingers back to the ground. I look up at the sky. It's clear blue. Light pastel blue. The way I like it. On a summer's day. Or any day, for that matter. Things clear. Are clear. No clouds. And I can tell it's going to be hot soon. Real hot.
(to GRANDPA AGNEW)
Gonna be hot.

GRANDPA AGNEW
You don't say? Yep. Gonna be hot right about now. How's the wife?

GRANDSON
Fine. Working today. Three nights. Works three nights and Saturdays. At the pharmacy. Gives us a little extra.

GRANDPA AGNEW
Wife shouldn't work.

GRANDSON
It's different now Gramps. Hard to make ends meet. It's not like when you and Grandma were young. Not like that, at all. Most couples have to do it, for awhile, anyway. And women have their careers. Too. (grimaces)
Besides, Connie likes it. Says it keeps her mind active and she meets people. Likes working with people. You gotta do it these days, Gramps. You just gotta. Everybody's gotta do it.

GRANDPA AGNEW
You don't gotta do nothin' any days or these days either, even if it's the same thing, any days or these days.

GRANDSON
(to audience) Gramps sure hasn't lost any of his smarts.

GRANDPA AGNEW
And there never was days when you hadda do somethin', if'n it wasn't right to be doin' it. These days or any days or daze.
(says letters of the alphabet spelling out daze) D. A. Z. E., you happen to be in.

GRANDSON
Grandpa A., it's not a question of being right or not, or these days or those days or bein' in a daze: D.A.Z.E. It's... It's... Well... If you want to get into a house, have a place of your own, you've got to save, a lot, money... for the... the... down payment. And after, to make the payments. You gotta have you both working. And like I said, Connie likes it. The working. She'd get bored at the apartment all the time. She says that too, Gramps. Heck, Grandpa A.

GRANDPA AGNEW
Heck Gramps, nothin'. I thought she was paintin'. Bein' a artist. That's what she wanted to do. When you married her. Thas what she was intrested in. Thought that's what she was going ta do. A house, bah. And I bet she's not paintin'. She never talks `bout paintin' in her letters no more, if letters can be talkin', the way they used ta be. Not those Wi-Fi things. Those text things. That aint talkin'! Thas language thas got the hiccups. I call it Wild Bill HicUp English. Not no more she doesn't talk about paintin'. She don't.

GRANDSON
Didn't.

GRANDPA AGNEW
Don't, didn't, doesn't... Aint.. House aint doin' nobody no good if'n you're not happy in it, er gittin' there `fore you're in it. Ya git nowhere any value less'n you're happy gitten there. Always gonna be, gonna be, gonna be. When I get this gonna be, I'll be happy or do that or this.
(puckers lips & kisses air)
That's a donkey's kiss. Right, Gertie. Ya do this, now... the working saving thing? Okay. But, ya do the other thing too. Then ya got a good thing-thing goin' on. A now-and-a-future thing. Ya don't wait for some future time to do a gonna be. Ya make it a now-be. Buzz buzz buzz like a Now-Bee. Do it now. Be that!
(harrumphs)
Or... it aint ever gonna be no beee-in' worth havin'when ya git there. And her workin' in no pharmacy aint the way for any gonna be's worth havin' or gitten' unless ya, she be, paintin' too. Ya don't do tomorrow today. Ya do today today and make that your tomorrow too.

GRANDSON
(to audience.)
I bend and pick up another clump of dirt. Toy with it in my hand. Play with it, breaking
it, and running my fore-finger through it in tiny circles, scratching at my palm with my fingernail. I feel Grandpa Agnew's gnarled hand on my shoulder.

GRANDPA AGNEW
Don't fret none, son. I'm gitten old 'n cranky 'n I don't git ta talk much like I useda. Pals all dead an' all. I jus' git ta watch the youngins, an' I know it's not my place no more to speak, an' I got no right ta preach to ya or nothin' like that. I aint got no right. I jus' scared for ya son, thas all, jus' scared for ya. Got some more lemon in the icebox. You come on, we'll git us some cool lemon an' rest our feet a spell. Come on, Gertie.
(slaps thigh calling GERTIE)

GRANDSON
(to audience)
Grandpa A. never stopped calling the fridge an icebox. He, well no... his words... didn't sound so out of place, anymore. They even sounded like they fit. Now...
(bends as if picking up soil, holds it in his palm, closes his hand and kisses it)
[ Lights dim. The play ends.]